


It's Not a Competition

by beachtowel



Series: "And I would've gotten away with it" [3]
Category: DCU
Genre: F/M, Love, divorce mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-22 21:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11975205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beachtowel/pseuds/beachtowel
Summary: A rough night on patrol leads to an awkward conversation about love between father and son that both will most likely deny if asked directly about it.





	It's Not a Competition

“Wait a second, Robin. Let me see your arm.” 

 

It was a long night. Batman and Robin have been on patrol for the last five hours, and Robin was officially dismissed to get some sleep before school. Damian wanted to go the bathroom to take care of his wound before Batman noticed, but he noticed. He always did. 

 

“A small scratch. I can bandage it myself,” Damian said, not necessarily wanting to hear a lecture at the moment. 

 

“Damian,” Bruce said, pulling his cowl off. His scowl remained. 

 

Damian obeyed, showing his arm begrudgingly. 

 

Bruce inspected the arm. The scar ran across his biceps.

 

“You disobeyed me multiple times tonight.”

 

Damian was ready with anger. “I was going to catch him! We had been looking for evidence on him for a week now and we finally had it! You let him go!”

 

“I told you to stand by,” Bruce said again, trying to hold back his frustration. “I do not have time to explain my decisions to you, it is your responsibility to simply do as you are told. Or did you forget?”

 

“I wasn’t interested in wasting any more of our time,” Damian said, speaking through his teeth. 

 

Bruce's jaw was set. ““Well, you did. Luckily you don’t need stitches. Hold your arm up here,” Bruce said, moving Damian’s elbow up while he went to grab disinfectant and bandages to cover the wound. “The Flash had updated me that he had suspicion that Captain Boomerang is involved with an international embezzlement project. You know he doesn’t work in Gotham, so the best choice would’ve been to plant a tracker and follow him to get more information, wouldn’t it?”

 

Damian processed the new information. His face changed, finally wincing a bit at the antibacterial liquid Bruce was dabbing his cut  with. 

 

“...Oh.”

“Perhaps we would've been able to question him for the answers if we had caught him. But you didn’t duck when I told you, and instead of him in the net, it was you I caught.” That entire bit was particularly embarrassing more so than the rest for Damian. “I would’ve been able to share that with you then,” Bruce continued, “if you hadn’t just jumped after him, giving away our position and our chance for investigating who he was working with, and then letting him escape.”

 

“He was about to break in and steal from a local shop and you said to do nothing! I simply acted on what I believed was right! Isn't that what you expect from me?”

 

“What  made you believe I was no longer capable of making those decisions for us?” Bruce's voice was filled with a harsh demand, but he was really curious. “Have I acted in a way that shows I won't do what's best?”

 

Damian felt challenged in Bruce's questions, but he said nothing in return. 

 

“No. Then this is about something else,” Bruce stated. Damian remained quiet, looking away. “Is this about the dinner?” Bringing his hands down, Bruce wished he had worked slower on the wound to distract him from all the tension.

 

“What about it?” Damian meant to sound uninterested, but it just came out bitter. 

 

There was a part of Bruce that was easily frustrated with this entire interaction. He appreciated facts to be laid out simply and clearly. Damian was his son and since the dinner in which it was revealed that Bruce and Diana were in an intimate relationship, Damian had been ignoring him, and now, deliberately disobeying his orders. Even though Damian stated that night that he approved, his constant  absence  said otherwise, and Bruce couldn’t have that as a mentor any more than he wanted that as a father.

 

Perhaps Damian was upset that he didn’t figure it out sooner. Perhaps he was upset because he wasn’t the first to know such important information about his father, or at least before Tim.

 

Bruce also imagined Damian was also probably upset because he has always held the belief, the hope, that Bruce would return to be with his mother, Talia al Ghul, again. 

 

Bruce was going to start the confrontation there, until he noticed that Damian hadn’t taken off his mask. 

 

Bruce sighed as his fingers ran through his disheveled hair. He wasn’t just going to start with the confrontational facts and figures. He was going to be sensitive and patient. He had to learn from his past parenting mistakes. 

 

“Am I done?” Damian said, wanting nothing more than to be dismissed.

 

“Damian.” Bruce demanded his son's undivided attention. “You know that I love you, right?” 

 

Damian was quiet for a second too long, and for that moment, a worry entered Bruce that maybe his son didn’t know that he was loved. 

 

“I do,” Damian stated with as much conviction a child caught off guard could. 

 

“Good.” Bruce said. This was surprisingly the easiest and hardest thing he’s ever said to his youngest. Bruce wasn’t good with his words, he preferred to let his actions speak for him. But he was the adult here, and Bruce understood sometimes he needed to use his words. 

 

They let a moment come and go while they both collected their thoughts.

 

“Damian, do you know I love the others as well?” This was a sincere question Bruce had for his son, who always felt entitled to a title that didn’t solely belong to him. 

 

This time Damian breathed in. Where was his father going with this? Was Bruce comparing them? What point was he trying to make? It was obvious to anyone that took the moment to notice how Bruce felt about the ones that have come before Damian.

 

“I do know this,” Damian said matter-of-factly. 

 

“And you know that… there is no competition. How I feel about about them does not take any of my love for you. And vice versa.” These were statements Bruce had to make clear. 

 

Damian swallowed. He more or less has understood the concept of unconditional love to work like that. However, if Damian was honest with his jealous conscious, he knew that the concept of an earned love was easier to measure. 

 

“Does this include Brown?” Damian asked in monotone. 

 

This time, it was Bruce’s turn to take a quick breath. His son had his sense of humor. 

 

“Of course it does,” he answered with an honest smile.

 

“Hm,” was all Bruce’s son responded. Bruce noticed Damian’s face had lost its hardness.

 

After another minute of letting the cool breeze have its moment to speak, Bruce got to his point.

 

“Damian, your mother and I, we have a complicated history.” 

 

Damian sat straight up again. Alert and in defense. He didn’t say anything, so Bruce continued. 

 

“To say that I love her,” Bruce stopped to clear his throat. “To say that I love her would describe my feelings for your mother in a mild manner.”

 

“Then why are you not with her?” Damian interrupted, words with heavy anger. “If you love her, then why do you seek the companionship of others and not hers?” This time, his voice cracked like all the other voices of upset prepubescent children of divorce. 

 

“Damian,” Bruce knew this was coming. He practiced in his head how he would respond, but nothing ever sounded right. The truth is, it was never going to sound right, but it was what it was. 

 

“It’s not-” This was a lot harder than Bruce prepared himself for. “It’s not just about feelings, Damian. Your mother and I can’t be together. You know our histories, you know that the futures we work for, we live for, are too incompatible.”

 

Damian looked at his father. “Can’t you just try?”

 

These were the rare moments that Damian sounded like the child that he was, and it both swelled and broke Bruce’s heart. 

 

“I have, Damian.  _ We _ have,” Bruce said, including Talia into the picture. “When have you known your mother or I to be cowards? We’ve tried, but it didn't work.” 

 

“Try again,” Damian insisted. 

 

“Damian, it won’t work.” Bruce felt himself get defensive. “It would only hurt us to pretend otherwise. Or at least, hurt me.” His tone softened. There was honesty in what Bruce spoke, honesty that was seeing the light of dawn for the first time. Bruce wondered how this vulnerability would warp his son’s perception of him, or his work and abilities. He let those selfish thoughts go in the name of trust. 

 

Damian still had his arms crossed, but his brows unfurrowed. He didn’t realize he was asking his father to feel hurt. 

 

The police radio interrupted the silence. 

 

“We got some suspicious movement down in Robinson Park, possible 10-78,” a young voice said over the crackling station.

 

Bruce put his hand on Damian’s shoulder to stop him from getting up. 

 

He put his hand up to wait for a moment, as they listened for something else. 

 

“10-4, proceed with caution,” someone responded with a hesitant response. 

 

After a minute of silence, the officer came back. “10-22, just a couple of cats.”

 

The new officer was met with groans from others on watch, followed by some mocking. 

 

Damian looked at his father, wondering how he knew. 

 

“I recognized the voice,” Bruce said simply, reminded of all the times the incompetent but well-meaning officer had wasted his time. 

 

“Hm,” Damian responded. His father was good. 

 

Bruce let the minutes slip by in silence. He wanted to leave everything as it was. They were done here, technically. He had communicated everything he felt Damian should know, there was no need for the uncomfortable tension. But one look at his son and he knew there was a dissatisfaction that lingered.

“Do you also love Ms. Prince?” Damian asked suddenly. He was looking at his wound now, not making eye contact with his father.

 

Would Damian understand if Bruce said it was complicated? Would Damian understand if he said yes? 

 

“Diana and I have been through a lot together,” Bruce started slowly. “I owe her my life tenfold, as she does me. With everything that we have gone through as a team, there has formed a kindred spirit.” Bruce hoped this was making sense to his son. “How I feel about her in no way detracts how I feel for your mother.” 

 

So this was why his father was talking about the others earlier. After some thought, Damian thought he understood, and so he said so. 

 

“So. Are you going to marry Ms. Prince then?” Damian was not a child, he knew how romantic relationships between adults worked.

 

“Marry…” Bruce said, processing the innocent question his naive son asked. “No, we are not going to marry.” 

 

“But you love her. And she is a noble individual,” Damian stated. 

 

“She is. But if there's anything I've learned from being with your mother, marriage is a considerable amount of work and dedication. At least for me, there are other things I am prioritizing in my life.” Bruce put his hand on his son's shoulder, hoping Damian understood.

 

Bruce continued after another moment of silence. “I have been considering inviting Diana to our home sometime.” Damian stiffened. “Of course we don't have to, I was just thinking it would be a way to know her outside of the work, given everyone's… sudden intrigue in her,” Bruce said with a slight bitterness with the reminder that they were discovered in such an obnoxious way.

 

“You want to introduce her as your lover,” Damian assumed once more.

 

“No. No, I do not.” Sometimes Damian’s way with words caught Bruce off guard. “Just as Diana. She is a pretty interesting person to spend time with, chum,” he offered lightly. He didn't want to have to sell Diana's presence to any of them. Either she was going to be welcomed or she wasn't. 

 

Damian thought it over. “Sounds interesting,” he finally said. “I have many questions about the fighting style history of the Amazons. First of all, their movements, especially jumps, seem to be sort of glides that can be interpreted as a sort of flight element. Do their bodies interact with the natural world different than the normal human body?”

 

“An excellent question,” Bruce found himself needing to fix his posture, he was hunching. Damian should really head to bed now. “I have a feeling she would be open to discussing things with you, we're just going to make sure everything is respectful and appropriate.” Sometimes, Damian had to be reminded of manners. 

 

Damian followed his father's suit and stood up straight.

 

“Father,” Damian said. 

 

Bruce checked that the rooftop camera jammers were still working and the police radio was on the right frequency. “Yes?” he glanced up.

 

But Damian didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at his father and after a while of pursuing his lips to find the right words, he simply nodded. Bruce understood his son completely, and nodded back.

 

“Let me also he clear.” Bruce said. “If you disobey me again simply because you are frustrated with me, I will suspend your duties permanently. I won't risk either of our lives like that again. Is that understood?” These lessons should never be taken lightly, and they are not flexible.

 

Damian gave an affirmative “yes, sir.”

 

“Ok,” Bruce said, “off to bed.” 

 

Damian was gone within the next couple seconds.

**Author's Note:**

> It's easy for me to want to write Damian as this super wise kid, but babysitting reminded me that kids are impulsive and kinda dumb and naive, and it's not fair to take those moments away from Damian. I mean, what kid doesn't want to see the fairy tales come true in their own household, with their own parents? But love is complicated. He may have knowledge but wisdom comes with life experiences. 
> 
> Also Bruce is bad at expressing his feelings. I hope that's coming through.


End file.
